5 Seconds

Every day, I ask myself why I’m still alive. I used to think the answer was simple: people. More specifically, the people who paid attention to me. The ones who answered my questions and tried to help. To say this now, however, would make me a liar.

Every day of the week, I get up at a different time and I have a general layout of the day. Five days a week, I go to the library. I shelf-read and rebox dvds and generally do as I’m told by my boss and co-workers. Then there are the moments. Today, I sat at one of the tables with my boss, Mari, and we watched as a presenter got a few kids started doing Recycled Art. We had a bunch of “trash” for the kids to turn into artwork that they could then take home. Mari commented that I should do one. I declined (my skills in art leave much to be desired). She walked over a while later and said that if I wouldn’t do one, she would do one. I came up with an idea. I told her that I would make one for her, if she promised to display it as art either in her office or in her new house. She agreed. She chose all the parts that she wanted me to put together for her piece. I went at it, taping the things she found to an old game board. I worked on it the entire length of the program. When I finally finished, everyone else had gone from the table, including the presenter and Mari. I looked at what I had created and I smiled to myself. And for that moment in time, I was ok and the world was ok. And those five seconds are the reason why I’m still alive today.

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~ by Alida on 8 July 2009.

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