Songs to Lose Your Hearing To

•5 April 2011 • Leave a Comment

So, I warned that all I really wanted to do was gush about the musical episode of Grey’s Anatomy, right?

For the musical episodes, they did one of my favorite songs, “How to Save a Life.” I’m listening to the song right now even. I’m listening to it louder than anyone should listen to music, for fear of damaging their hearing. But I love music. And I find many songs most enjoyable when they are so loud I can’t hear anything else, even the thoughts inside my head. And I will probably lose most or all of my hearing due to this habit, but one of the things I’m working on is not beating myself up over every thing I do that isn’t good for me, because the stress of that is killing me faster than anything else could. I like to turn up a playlist of my favorite songs to top volume and put my earbuds in with noise-cancellers over them. That’s how I enjoy my life.


Blogging Every Day

•1 April 2011 • Leave a Comment

I’ve thought doing BEDA, and if you look back into the archives, when I started this blog, it was a daily blog. The only problem I have with saying I’m going to BEDA is that the commitment will cause me undue amounts of stress. To remedy this, I’m going to admit that it is very unlikely that I will remember or have the will to blog every day. But I can blog today.  And today, I choose to blog about the amazing television show that I love that had a musical episode last night. For those of you who don’t already know where I’m going with this, it was Grey’s Anatomy. This post will contain major spoilers, so proceed with caution.

So, the episode starts where the previous left off, with Callie and Arizona getting hit by a truck. Arizona has a few scrapes and bruises, but mainly, it was Callie who was the victim in this accident. Throughout the episode, she is struggling to survive, and they are struggling to save her. Anyway, mainly, I just want to gush about the parts I really liked. First of all, the music selection was excellent. It was so awesome, I got on iTunes and bought the album about 10 minutes after I finished watching the episode. And I’ve been listening to it most of today. I was wonderfully surprised at many of the singing voices.

Throughout the song “Breathe (2 AM)”, I couldn’t help but remember what happened on the show in the last episode to feature that song. If you don’t remember, allow me to remind you:

Oddly, that episode was the last time I anticipated an episode so much that wasn’t a premiere or finale.

I loved the role reversal Arizona and Mark experienced where Arizona worries about the baby, because she knows that Callie won’t want to be alive if she wakes up and her baby is dead and Mark is just worried about Callie surviving.

When they are taking Callie into the elevator and the doors close, and Arizona tears up a little and says, “I asked her to marry me and a truck came out of no where.” I teared up a little.

Derek noticing that Arizona is watching from the gallery, but Mark is nowhere to be seen and so he sends Lexie to find him.

Alex comforting Arizona in the gallery. It’s been a while since they’ve had a good scene together.

I had completely forgotten that Addison and Callie were close friends when Addison worked at Seattle Grace.

Meredith resigning that Cristina can be Callie’s daughter’s godmother.

Alex calling the hospital Seattle Grace Mercy Death.

Runnin’ on Sunshine and the conversation in the car in the sky preceding. I love how Callie tells her they’re going to hit a truck and Arizona tells her to put on her seat belt and then proceeds to tell her to put it on 5 or 6 more times.

The duet between Arizona and Callie.

“How to Save a Life” was all amazing, but particularly Mark and Arizona watching from the gallery with Apparition!Callie between them, and Arizona putting her hand on the glass and Apparition!Callie puts her hand on top of Arizona’s. And then the glance and dash between Mark and Arizona as they rush down to the ER for the birth of their daughter. 1lb., 1 oz of strong with beautiful black hair.

The nod between Mark and Arizona and Arizona stepping in to care for her daughter. And then her voice breaking when she says, “I have a heartbeat!”

Mark admitting to Arizona that she’s not nothing, that they are co-parents.

The scene in the elevator between Meredith and Derek was beautiful. The elevator symbolism continues on.

Apparition!Callie shaking Coma!Callie’s hospital bed.

Callie opening her eyes and saying “Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”

Yeah, it took me about 4 hours and 6 tries to finish this blog post. And this is why I don’t blog more often. I’m too distractible. I should go get my laundry out of the dryer. But I should post this first.


•30 March 2011 • Leave a Comment

I’m turning 20 on Monday. I’m planning this party picnic at a local park for myself. I made a list of all the things that need to be purchased for it, and I planned a location and figured out who I wanted to invite, and actually allowed myself to get a little excited about it. But, as with everything else happy in my life, something screwed it up.

I have tiny chicken disease right now, and being sick always makes everything that happens much, much worse. I was sick one year on Thanksgiving, and I had a full-on meltdown when I saw a dog get hit by a car.

Anyway, a week or so ago, I was telling my best friend about my birthday, and how I was going to have the celebration probably the day before. And he replied that he was probably going out of town for a college thing. Fine. Still pressed on. Planned a bit more, told a few more people. Then today I was talking to my roommate about what a good time on Sunday would be to start the event. And she brought up that the kids are supposed to go with their dad on Sunday. And since he can sometimes take an hour after they call to come and get them, she will have to wait here until he comes. So, that’s 4. I also talked to my brother. He doesn’t want to come because it’s going to be in an outdoor park, and the high is only 51° that day.

And I just checked the forecast. It says rain. Awesome.  Whatever.

Hating Yourself

•4 October 2010 • 1 Comment

You may have heard about the recent cluster of suicides among young, gay males. They were bullied and hated so much that they decided to end it all forever.

From the time kids are elementary school aged, a lot of the things that they see every day teach them that things about them that deviate from the norm make them less lovable.

Suicide is what happens when kids learn to hate themselves.

Two kids, 14 and 15, killed themselves in my home state this week. One of them was attending the high school from which I graduated, and one was a member of the publicized cluster mentioned above.

Every time I hear about someone who has taken his or her own life, I wonder who was teaching that kid that one thing, or even several, uncontrollable things, was enough to make him or her unlovable.

Dan Savage, of Savage Love, an advice column, started a project with his husband called the It Gets Better project, designed to help anyone who is dealing with bullies, saying that the bullies can’t hurt you when they aren’t around anymore, and they aren’t worth your time, or your feelings, and especially aren’t worth your life.

Here is the video that Dan made with his husband, Terry:

We Built a School (That’s What I Do)

•25 July 2010 • Leave a Comment

So, I’m not sure if I’ve ever talked before about Nerdfighteria, and what all of that is about. But Nerdfighteria is…just magical sometimes. It’s the reason why I was out of town last weekend. I went to California, to go to a conference for Youtube video-makers. It was great fun, and the concerts were amazing, but the part of the conference that most stuck with me was this video:

I keep watching it, and it just astounds me every time what we did.

And this video was just cool.

So, yeah. That’s kind of what I do. And I’m damn proud that I do.

I Write Like

•17 July 2010 • 1 Comment

I have to admit. I had never heard of this guy before. But based on a sample of my writing from about 5 years ago, I write like him.

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

A second analysis of something I wrote more recently came up with this guy. I have actually heard of him, so that’s an improvment.

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

And from a sample from something I wrote in elementary school:

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

And Heaven and Nature Sing

•25 June 2010 • Leave a Comment

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school!

1. Did you date someone from your school? Yes, and no. He went to IPFW, and I went there in addition to North Side, and I did date someone else who went to North Side at some point, but dropped out later.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No, and I doubt that I ever will.

3. Did you car pool to school? Nope. I walked mostly.

4. What kind of car did you have? I didn’t.

5. What kind of car do you have now? 1994 Honda Civic DX

6. It’s Friday night 2005… (changed the date to the year I started hs) I was probably at home. Later in the year, I would have been a rehearsals for Seussical.

7. It’s Friday night 2009… (changed the date to the year to when I graduated) I was probably at home.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? I worked for the library, doing Team Read, and then as an SRP assistant.

9. What kind of job do you do now? I’m a nanny.

10. Were you a party animal? No.

11. Were you considered a flirt? No.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Nope.

13. Were you a nerd? Gaming club? Library helper? Nerd, and Library helper.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? Nope.

15. Can you sing the fight song? No.

16. Who were your favorite teacher(s)? Mr. Mertes, Mrs. Hess, Mrs. Todor, and the librarian, Mr. Ankenbruck. And Mrs. Liechty, who taught two of my math classes, and sadly retired before any of my siblings could be in her class. She was an awesome math teacher.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? As close to the exit as possible, but I never ate lunch. After the first year, I spent lunch with Mrs. Todor, sorting slides and grading papers for her, and then later for Mrs. Hess. And then by my senior year, I left after 1st period, or at least before lunch, so I didn’t even worry about it.

18. What was your school’s full name? North Side High School.

19. When did you graduate? 2009.

20. What was your school mascot? Redskins.

21 . If you could go back and do it again, would you? Hell, fucking, no.

22. Did you have fun at Prom? Hell, fucking, no. It sucked.

23. Would you talk to the person you went to Prom with? I didn’t go with anyone.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? No.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? Very few. Sadie, my siblings, Andrea, not many others. I didn’t like most of my classmates.